Real Talk About Relationships

Donna Broadway is a senior currently majoring in Creative Writing at Bowie State University. She is able to maintain an A average while working and being a student leader in several organization. Donna will graduate in May 2008 with plans of starting graduate school and a career in magazine writing. She can be reach at DtiaraB@hotmail.com

 

Women in Control

Throughout history, women have been conditioned to be passive and somewhat obsolete. Men run households, countries, banks, make the rules on how women behave, dress, and make money. Women find it effortless to take control of every aspect of her life except her romantic life. Men are expected to make all of the first moves, they initiate conversation, make the first phone call, plan the first date, propose. They are expected to do everything except plan the wedding and give birth.

Women, especially African American women, need to take control over their romantic lives. Many women are afraid to ask their men personal questions for fear of being alone. As it is often said, silence speaks louder than words. Silence is killing African American women by the millions. According to Avert.com, African American women are only 13% of the American population but account for 67% of new AIDS cases among women.

Magazines, such as Essence, run frightening statistics about men shortages in the African American community, due to jail, interracial dating, and homosexuality. These statistics, whether or not they are exaggerated, lead to women being more liberal in relationships. Women must ask their partners questions to understand if they are feeling the same way. She must ask if the relationship is monogamous, about his sex practices, if he has ever been tested for HIV/AIDS and other STD’s, and how he feels about condoms.

Women may take control by insisting that men always wear condoms. Make using condoms sexy, instead of awkward, by using he mouth to put the condom on, or due to the great variety of condoms, make it a game of trying various condom styles. Either way, African American women are paying too high of a price for being passive and must take control.